Happy Valentine's Day!

Well today is Valentine's Day... Lover's Day... Single Awareness Day... whatever you wanna call it.
It's the day where you're supposed to go out and buy all that overpriced soon to be dead flowers and fattening chocolate. Yeah, No thanks. John knows better than to go throw our money away on that junk lol. However, Tomorrow when it's all 50% or more off the "original" price he is allowed to surprise me with something sweet. I will be getting Cami 3 Carnation Flowers in a little vase with a small teddy bear or something... this is what my dad always did for me and I loved it. So John and I will be doing the same for her. She loves flowers.

Anyways, It's been a while since I've updated this.
I finally got BOTH kids into ONE daycare so my mornings are going a little easier! I was really scared for Collin's first day considering he has never really experienced a daycare setting yet. He loves it. Never once cried on his first day there.... didnt even care I was leaving... he was ready to play with all the new toys! It's absolutely adorable peeking in the window and seeing him run around with his little midget friends lol. He also doesnt suck down a gallon of milk each day now that he's such a busy little man. That excites me... and my bank account. Cami was excited yet very very nervous about meeting new friends. She is such a shy little girl but once she gets to know you she'll never shut up! She cried her first day when I left... but when I picked her up she didnt wanna leave! She LOVES it there. Her teacher is super nice and she has alot of really good kids in her class this time. Lots of cute little girls who love dressing up just like she does. She met a blonde hair blue eyed boy named Charlie that she adores as well. There's always that one boy... no matter where she goes lol. I'm just excited for both my kids to be able to go to school across the hall from each other and know they are being well taken care of and having a blast. I hated where Cam went before and I didnt like that Collin was just sitting in a house all day with his babysitter. Both my kids seemed to have a strong need for alot of room to run and play and different activities to keep their minds busy as well.

Now it's my turn. I hate my school. Can I switch too? lol. Seriously though, I'm really upset that I recieved a B in a class that should have given me an A+++++. I got A's on 98% of my assignments/tests/quiz's... I also showed up to class everyday on time except 2 times that were excused due to Collin being sick and my requirement for a physical and TB test for the class. I also recieved almost 200 extra credit points for the workbook we did... yet somehow.. I recieved a B. I tried to fight the grade and I got a letter in the mail saying it wasnt approved. WTF?? how!?!?!? I'm really starting to think about NOT going there for my Nursing Program and not just because of this one incident... ive heard about this type of stuff happening from several people.... SRC seems to be very unorganized and cause alot of problems. I just like going there because it's in town and a small building so I know where everything is at... i'm comfortable there... and i dont like getting outta my comfort zone lol.
I'm also having a TERRIBLE time getting into the swing of things this semester. I'm totally sucking in my math class and it's been hard to focus in my A&P class but atleast I have a couple awesome lab partners that are keeping me in gear.

I went to the doctor yesterday and talked to him about some things I'm going through... How I'm always SOOOO exhausted... like I could literally sleep alllllll day every day. I have no energy. I'm losing interest in everything I once loved... photography... school... idk what I want to do in life any more. I have no interest in anything. I have headaches all the time. I'm super stressed and cant handle it right. My body is so outta whack lately. The list of stuff just goes on and on... so he tested me for a bunch of things and we have now come to the conclusion that i'm depressed. Which hearing that just makes me depressed lol... seems like a sign of weakness to me. I also hate knowing i'm depressed when I have so much I should be thankful for in life... wonderful husband, amazing kids, nice things, etc but I cant help it. I think alot of it may go back to how I was raised... without a mother.. not that my dad didnt do an awesome job.. but it just gets me upset thinking about how she just up and left me. I needed her. I feel like an angry person alot and recently I feel like I dont know how to raise my own kids anymore. Collin is such a needy child and I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Cami wasn't this hard at his age... but then again I only had 1 child and alot less stress. But now Cami is pretty needy too which I think is because she wants the same attn her brother is getting and she is getting older and wanting to do more. There are numerous things that are probably making me like this. I know eating healthier and getting more excercise would greatly help me out too but I have no motivation because of all this... & remember.. i'm exhausted! So hopefully some happy pills will help and i'll get back into shape and then be able to get off of them. I just need a boost in the right direction i think!